That's it then. Seven days that shook the world are over, and now we must survey the wreckage, learn what happened, and why, lest we forget, so that Abikans wherever they may be can unite and say:
No, not the Stephen Fry QI A-Bomb thing, silly, the 'Biko Election of course. The results, without further ado, are:
Junichiro "Gnasher" Hoshino: 27,240
"Show me the" Muneo Sakamaki: 22,597*
That was pretty close. Our Man feels sorry for Sakamaki. Sure, he didn't have any policies, he was only 40 and he had never held down a job outside of being a city councillor (do folk still call them aldermen?) but dammit, he had good qualities too - he didn't have any policies, he was only 40 and had never worked.
Whereas The Gnasher, 53, had policies coming out the wazoo. Stuff about free medical care for kids up to junior high school age. And blah blah blah and blah blah.
But while Our Man was bamboozled by the, er, razzmatazz of the big 'lection, the goodly people of Abiko knew what the subtext was: vote for Sakamaki, keep things the way they are round here - no development of Teganuma, keep the farms and small holdings round about, and generally watch the place get old, like the rest of Japan.
But The Gnasher (he's a dentist, remember?) has other ideas. He wants to woo a big firm to this fair city, pave over paradise to put up a parking lot, you might say. In return, our kids get free lollipops at the doctor's. Maybe.
So, does The Gnasher have a mandate (you know, will of the people, not a gay dating magazine)? Our Man thinks not, though he doesn't know what kind of magazines he keeps in his waiting room. See, despite being little known and with only a week to shout his name out at passing cars at intersections, the whippersnapper nearly pulled off a major upset. Our daughters even knew his name. Though pre-schoolers can't vote. Or gaijin, but that's another matter.
Shame, because Sakamaki promised to end the four-year "bonus" that mayors receive of ¥xx,xxx,xxx (Our Man forgets the figure now, but it was more than the value of Our Man's bunker). The Gnasher's response to this bold policy? "No comment." And he still won the bloody race. Our Man couldn't tell if he is Liberal Democratic Party (aka "The Forces of Evil") or New Komieto (aka "The Forces of Evil Lite") but whatever he is, he's connected.
So, Abikans picked the older incumbent for a thrusting, progressive city over the younger conservative who wanted the place to stand still.
Well, it's their city. And Our Man's.
*You should have stopped reading there. If only Our Man had remembered to make an endorsement, things might have been very different. Ho hum.