Now, he could go on about what a fascist nightmare of a parody of capitalism the place is, and in fact he has, both here on this blog last year or so and up there on his twitter feed today. So he won't labour the point. Again. Much.
But, anyway, maybe because of the horror of being stuck there FOR 10 HOURS and forced to assume an air of joviality for the benefit of the kids, his mind wandered Winston-Smith-like to a private world where Our Man could call the shots, reorder reality and make his very own Magic Kingdom come true (and inflict it on others in due course).
Up till today, Our Man had got a nifty set of characters all doing their thing, a half-decent plot, a premise he's been eagerly proving everyday, baby. He'd even got a subplot and some comments to stick on the cover from celebs who innocently showed their arse to Our Man on Twitter, unaware of their import.
He wasn't sure how he could smooth all the rough edges and fill in the plot potholes. UNTIL TODAY.
Today, he knows how it's gonna end, how all the important loose ends are gonna get tied. In short, whodunit.
So, in the interests of writing something worth reading, it's time to start loosening up to air a few ideas to you brave few. Here's what Our Man can say for sure:
1. The protagonist is Hana, a 19-year-old hafu (English dad, Japanese mum) with the worldly-wise cynicism of her absent dad, but trepidations of her do-the-right-thing mum.
2. It's written in the first person, which is quite a stretch for Our Man, being the third person that he is. And a bloke. And many summers past 19. But, frankly, if first person's good enough for Holden Caulfield, it's good enough for Ourmani.
3. The premise is lying to yourself ends in death; or, the best way to fit in is to not fit in.
4. It's set in Abiko, mostly.
5. The kickoff (sorry, don't know the literary term) is an American dad searching for his abducted daughter.
6. Think of the novel (if you do at all, freakozoid) as a roadtrip through Japan. Well, suburban Japan. Beginning with an "A".
7. Minor characters include a local yakuza boss, his ageing henchman, a wet-behind-the-ears apprentice, juxtaposed with Our Heroine and her sidekick a Shinto priest. Oh, and the mysterious missing kid with her own twitter feed.
8. There's also a tramp kappa-like shadow shogun who breeds hamsters by the swamp. And a ditzy CNN reporter babe. And need to flesh out a cop figure.
9. Can't think of a ninth point. Other than to say it ain't gonna be high art, but Our Man reckons it's a bit profound. So that means others will think it's a comedy. Ok.
10. It's gonna be called "Half Life."
There it is, as it stands.
Thanks, Walt. Fascist.