It's been a week since Our Man got back from his de-briefing in Blighty, and he can now fill you all in on his reverse culture shock after being away for three years.
1. Britain has whole trees that shed leaves on to the street and everything. Seeing leaves around, just lying there serving no use other than for kids to kick, offended my Japan-accustomed eye. How come all the top branches weren't mutilated to prevent leaf pollution?
2. The Coalition. Sure, by the time this has gone to press the reverse will be true, but Britons are backing the government, by jove. Even a socialist chap Our Man talked to in the People's Republic of North London thought the posh boys in charge were right to cut budgets by 20%. He even thought that might stimulate the economy, though since no-one has any money, he wasn't sure exactly how (ed. neither are the posh boys).
3. Everyone is about to get laid off. This is no doubt part of the brilliant economic plan.
3. Everyone is about to get laid off. This is no doubt part of the brilliant economic plan.
4. At the moment the British muddle-through-and-suffer-together-to-beat-the-Jerries-Spirit is holding up. What happens in six months when the redundancy cash is spent and the budget cuts mean 20 percent of the country is out of a job is another matter.
4.5 There are a lot of fatties in the UK. Maybe there always were, but there are so many really obese folk waddling about it makes Our Man think he is svelte. In fact, if you want to loseweight, don'tbother, just go to Britain for a holiday, you'll feel better about yourself immediately.
4.5 There are a lot of fatties in the UK. Maybe there always were, but there are so many really obese folk waddling about it makes Our Man think he is svelte. In fact, if you want to loseweight, don'tbother, just go to Britain for a holiday, you'll feel better about yourself immediately.
5. Customer service was actually really good. Forget this "Japan has the best customer service mentality" mantra. The poor folk back in Britain are genuinely happy to see a customer. Even a skinflint like Our Man.
5.7 By the way, the pic is of the back of a toilet stall door in Birmingham airport that was, as the graffiti implies, missing a coat hook.
6. That's about the sum of Our Man's British knowledge, though he was somewhat chuffed to have a free and frank exchange of views with the pre-eminent Conservative Blogger Iain Dale on Twitter last night, who once kindly listed this dog's dinner of a blog on his genuinely popular Total Politics site and even more well-read Diary blog a year or two ago. Sadly, don't think Our Man made a friend.
5.7 By the way, the pic is of the back of a toilet stall door in Birmingham airport that was, as the graffiti implies, missing a coat hook.
6. That's about the sum of Our Man's British knowledge, though he was somewhat chuffed to have a free and frank exchange of views with the pre-eminent Conservative Blogger Iain Dale on Twitter last night, who once kindly listed this dog's dinner of a blog on his genuinely popular Total Politics site and even more well-read Diary blog a year or two ago. Sadly, don't think Our Man made a friend.
Exhibit A Our Man's Twitter feed:
Exhibit B The Great Man's Twitter feed:
Maybe Our Man was being a tad harsh. And a teensy bit jealous? Probably.
3 comments:
My first reaction each time I visit Sweden has so far been "Oh f*uck, everybody's huge!" I mean, I like suddenly being thin and all, but I'm also distinctly below average height too, and I'm no longer used to have to look up at everybody I'm talking to.
Yeah, we Brits come in all creeds and colours, but increasingly, in just one size.
Please note that us Yanks are a bit leery of those who take photos in men's room stalls.
Just sayin.
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