Google: Press # key if you are human

There was Our Man, innocently trying to set up two more email addresses at Google in his homemade virtual secret society (talking about mysteries wrapped in enemas - hands up anyone who has made it past the first five paragraphs of the Washington Post's word-athon on how the US government is drowning in too many words?) when the Google Homeland Security-bots intercepted him and told him that they wanted to make sure he was human.

Prick him, does he not bleed?

They wanted his phone number so they could phone him up. Our Man, being essentially, how you say, an idiot, filled in the boxes and verily did The Voice of Google speak a code unto him. On the third time of asking. But being a human being, Our Man missed the first digit of the computerised voice that assailed him, and therefore messed up the login and he was frozen out of the process for 24 hours.

So let's get this straight, Google. You want to protect your email from bots, by using automated phone bots and penalising Our Man when he behaves like the bumbling human that he is. Which proves your case for you. How has it come to pass that the only way we can prove our humanity is by acting like a computer?

Our Man was going to click on the complaint button, but of course, it said complaints were not individually answered, just used as general guides to improving the service. Bot-speak for "Up yours loser human, you're on your own."

Anyway, seems we can only hate one mega-successful tech company at a time. Not so long ago it was the evil Microsoft, then it was the all knowing Google, then Facebook and now it's the all seeing iPhone4 of the Apple of Steve Jobs iThing (ed. - please sort this, thnx).

Well, all Our Man says is:

Watch your bots, people.