(Readers in a hurry or with a low threshold for twaddle may prefer to skip this paragraph - ed) Which is a shame, because Our Man would much rather get on with his novel. In fact, Our Man has a new-found respect for proper storytellers. You know, fiction's not as easy as it looks. In blogging (and proper journalism if you know how to type 'allegedly'), if you think someone is a dithering old fool full of shit, you just have to say "I think someone is (allegedly) a dithering old fool full of shit." But in fiction, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT YOU THINK, you have to SHOW that someone is a dithering old fool full of shit. That's called narrative, children.
Anyway, fortunately for Our Man, Hatoyama is both showing and telling us he is a dithering old fool full of shit. Yes, we're talking Futenma and relocating the Marines and stuff. Here's the story so far, in prime numbers for all you statistics fans:
1. Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama (aka The Earl of Bridgestone) came to power in a Blaze of Glory, but unlike the Bon Jovi song of the same name, he was kinda anti-American in you know trashtalking globalisation and Yankee Imperialism and such.
3. Then he suggested the Done Deal on a brand new Marine base on the back of a giant turtle in the Bay of Futenma was not a done deal and the Yanks could jolly well naff off to Guam.
5. The Yanks said "Er, run that by us again."
7. Then Hatoyama tried moving the base to just about everywhere else in Japan.
11. Everywhere else said, "Oh, honoured leader of this humble nation, go fuck yourself"
13. So Hatoyama did and said, "OK, we'll go back to the LDP plan, sorry for wasting everyone's time."
Too right mate, only now instead of just wasting everyone's time by getting everyone obsessing over where to stick a bunch of high school dropouts, you've pissed off every voter in Okinawa, every voter who thought you represented change in the rest of the country, every voter who thought you didn't, every diplomat who has to explain to the boss what's going on with Japan and everybody else who is sick of watching a ditherer at work and have to read more dull articles about The Futenma Question.
Does Our Man have to tell you how to do everything? OK, here's how you should have answered the FQ:
1. Move the damn base to anywhere in Japan where they vote LDP anyway.
2. That's it.
This time, you can crib from Our Man, but next time you're on your own.
7 comments:
Shocking that he accomplished nothing with Futenma, isn't it? He does have other pressing business to attend to, though, like Pigeon Head-Bobbing.
Gifu, Fukui do offer an excellent line of sight to North Korea after all.
hey kara,give the pigeons a break,jsut cos they drop poo everywhere doesn't maan they are an acceptable vehicle for buck passing.
in fact,if you ever spend a lot of time in solitary-the home brew wasn't mine-they make excellent companions in that they never argue and don't nag.Unlike mrs honds kildare,who can do both at the same time.
if that's multitasking,it's nothing the ladies to aspire to.
and by the way our man,I think you missed out a few of the numbers,but then hey,that's what happens when you spend a decade doing the accoutns for a greek bank/country.
yours in freedom
"Move the damn base to anywhere in Japan where they vote LDP anyway."
So.. A runway across Kasumigaseki due north, ending right over the Imperial palace, then?
What do high school dropouts have to do with anything? You're not referring to the Marines, over 90% of whom are high school graduates and whose officers all hold bachelors degrees and/or post-graduate degrees, do you?
Cory, quite so, Our Man's head has been befuddled by taking Avatar to heart. Damn 3D specs and 1D characters.
And Janne, that's an excellent idea.
Actually, Our Man had been hoping for a Marine base in Abiko, then at least we'd get some decent pizza joints and girly bars round here.
'Actually, Our Man had been hoping for a Marine base in Abiko, then at least we'd get some decent pizza joints and girly bars round here.'
might expose the shortcomings of the local navy though.
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