Well, Our Man has been waiting for the usual suspects to tell him what to think on the whole Hatoyama dithering for the nation thing, but Mr Top Cat hasn't posted for a fortnight, Master Tobias hasn't finished his Latin homework and Uncle Jun hasn't got over getting mentioned in a real publication, so it's up to Our Man to make some sense from the loose narrative threads of the pop-up book Hatoyama Makes a Decision.
(Readers in a hurry or with a low threshold for twaddle may prefer to skip this paragraph - ed) Which is a shame, because Our Man would much rather get on with his novel. In fact, Our Man has a new-found respect for proper storytellers. You know, fiction's not as easy as it looks. In blogging (and proper journalism if you know how to type 'allegedly'), if you think someone is a dithering old fool full of shit, you just have to say "I think someone is (allegedly) a dithering old fool full of shit." But in fiction, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT YOU THINK, you have to SHOW that someone is a dithering old fool full of shit. That's called narrative, children.
Anyway, fortunately for Our Man, Hatoyama is both showing and telling us he is a dithering old fool full of shit. Yes, we're talking Futenma and relocating the Marines and stuff. Here's the story so far, in prime numbers for all you statistics fans:
1. Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama (aka The Earl of Bridgestone) came to power in a Blaze of Glory, but unlike the Bon Jovi song of the same name, he was kinda anti-American in you know trashtalking globalisation and Yankee Imperialism and such.
3. Then he suggested the Done Deal on a brand new Marine base on the back of a giant turtle in the Bay of Futenma was not a done deal and the Yanks could jolly well naff off to Guam.
5. The Yanks said "Er, run that by us again."
7. Then Hatoyama tried moving the base to just about everywhere else in Japan.
11. Everywhere else said, "Oh, honoured leader of this humble nation, go fuck yourself"
13. So Hatoyama did and said, "OK, we'll go back to the LDP plan, sorry for wasting everyone's time."
Too right mate, only now instead of just wasting everyone's time by getting everyone obsessing over where to stick a bunch of high school dropouts, you've pissed off every voter in Okinawa, every voter who thought you represented change in the rest of the country, every voter who thought you didn't, every diplomat who has to explain to the boss what's going on with Japan and everybody else who is sick of watching a ditherer at work and have to read more dull articles about The Futenma Question.
Does Our Man have to tell you how to do everything? OK, here's how you should have answered the FQ:
1. Move the damn base to anywhere in Japan where they vote LDP anyway.
2. That's it.
This time, you can crib from Our Man, but next time you're on your own.