Talk about known unknowns and unknown unknowns (as Our Man does most days), he's just recovered from the trauma of his Saturday Japanese lesson.
The regular sensei went off by bullet train to enjoy nature or something, so her relief teacher, a 65-year-old chap, let's call him B-sensei, was in sole charge. Close your eyes and picture the scene. Er, well open them, read this so you know what you are supposed to be picturing, then close your eyes:
A small hall at the local community centre full of 30 earnest foreigners of varying levels of Japanese proficiency (from the lost causes like Our Man, to the insufferably fluent) all nattering away in groups of three or four with their Japanese teachers.
Into this hubbub of conversations, B-sensei decides to start groaning "Uu-uu-uun" accompanied by three claps, followed by "Uu-uun" (with two claps).
Our Man tried his best to rearrange his features from a smirk, to, he hopes, more of a charitable smile to convey to his teacher I'm with you, boss! and simultaneously to his gaijin peers, I didn't touch him.
Uu-uu-uun. Uu-uun. Uu-uu-uun. Uu-uun.
The more Our Man tried not to piss himself laughing, the louder the groaning and clapping became.
Uu-uu-uun. Uu-uun. Uu-uu-uun. Uu-uun.
Then it dawned on Our Man, the deranged chap wants me to join in. So in the spirit of international understanding (and to shut him up) We two became one in our groans:
Uu-uu-uun. Uu-uun. Uu-uu-uun. Uu-uun. Uu-uu-uun. Uu-uun. Uu-uu-uun. Uu-uun.
The longest five minutes of Our Man's life were spent trying very hard not to wet himself, as his peers and betters watched with unbridled mirth.
You may open your eyes now.
8 comments:
Best post yet.
You know, those free "lessons" are pretty good entertainment value but don't expect too much in the way of actual learning...
Well I hope you learned what you needed to that day. (FWIW this is actually real Japanese, used by real Japanese people. At least it was being used by this moaning autistic guy on my train this morning.)
That old guy was complicating things. All you need to know is "eeeeeeeehhhhhhhh!!!!" "sugoiiiiiiiii!", oishiiiiiiiii!, umai!, and when married the phrase most often used by ones spouse: "urusai bakayaro", and when you come back home and announce "tadaima" the reply "mou?"
Uu-uuun.
David H. is essentially correct, although I find the phrases "nama biru, dai-jockey, o-kudasai" and "Zakenayo, motherfucker" are also very very useful
Repeat after me:
Eeeehhhh! Sugoi! Hennano!? Eeeehhhh! Sugoi! Hennano!? Eeeehhhh! Sugoi! Eeeehhhh! Sugoi! Eeeehhhh! Sugoi! Hennano!? Eeeehhhh! Sugoi! Eeeehhhh! Sugoi! Hennano!?
this is brilliant
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