Japanese health care: The ear nose and throat full monty

Don't know if this qualifies as Our Man's contribution to the health care debate, but the other day, Our Man thought he was going a bit deaf in his left ear, so he popped round to the ear nose and throat doctor's practice above his nearest Mister Donut to get it checked out.

He'd thought long and hard about how to explain his condition using his best Japanese on how he had gone to a summer firework display a week or so ago and the noise could be the cause of it... but there was no time for any of that. Before Our Man could open his mouth:

Some grumpy 60-year-old bloke in a mask shoved him into a seat and stuck a metal milkshake spoon in his ear poked about a bit (owwww) made him sit in the smallest broom cupboard he'd ever seen in his life stuck a pair of headphones he hadn't seen since the time stereos were items of furniture then out of the cupboard it was stick this tube up your nostril and another in your ear and then he turned the vacuum on OWWWWWW then the next nostril OWWWWWWW then it was stick these two pipes up your nose and wait until the light goes out that's ¥3,100 take these pills twice daily see you in two days for your next treatment.