Start spreading the news, Hatoyama's leaving today for New York, N.Y. Or has already (but that kind of ruins the intro, never mind). Yeah, he's going to one of those tedious hot air conferences that folk from all corners of the world attend to collect more air miles and score brownie points pontificating about how much they might do to save the planet, in the near future, honest miss, just as long as you go first. Japan's new PM has crooned about making a 25 percent cut in greenhouse gasses on 1990 levels by 2020, if everyone else agrees. What does this mean?
Our Man hasn't got a clue.
A few problems off the top of Our Man's head:
1. What greenhouse gases are we talking about?
2. How reliable are the measurements of them (ie which bureaucrat lackey came up with Japan's fictitious figure?)
3. Does anyone remember what was so hot about 1990?
4. Was that the year the Channel Tunnel opened? Guns N Roses released November Rain? (guitar solo at 5:30)
5. Who is going to measure whether Japan has succeeded in its noble mission?
6. None of these pols will be in power in 2020, so whadda they care?
Hatoyama says he wants a society not dependent on carbon. Our Man too, but Our Man also wants an undersea secret base like Dr No where he can sup martinis when he's not churning out pulp novels and playing craps in his own casino with leggy temptresses with all their own teeth. It's not gonna happen is it?
How have we powered anything since we first climbed down from the trees and fancied a fry up? We burn shit. Branches, charcoal, coal, oil, methane, fag packets, uranium - you name it, we bung it on the fire and cook our toast, drive our cars, recharge our iPods and power up Google.
Sure, we should conserve what we've got left to burn (and aren't we doing a good job at that), but ultimately we're gonna burn it and burn it all. Short of a technological miracle, really, the only viable solution is a lot fewer people. Unfortunately, the Earth seems to be arranging for that to happen.
You wanna stop global warming? Start leading, quit whining and get used to hardship.
Anyway, enjoy your trip to NY, good luck with your numbers, Mr H.
Pic lifted from here.