My fellow Americans...

Are you getting a bit tired of the wall-to-wall Obama coverage? Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Yes, it's a generate-your-own Obama speech. Here's Our Man's first effort, can you do better? (idea lifted lock, stock and two smoking barrels from Devil's Kitchen): 

My fellow Americans, today is a groovy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "America", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually inspire. 

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces big and fat challenges like never before. Our economy is cheesy. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for politicians. Our healthcare system is sleepy. If your wrist is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a journalist. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a sausage brief case. But yodelling together we can right this ship, and set a course for Abiko.

Finally, I must thank my green family, my friendly campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Japanese for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of eating the American people. Without your threadbare efforts, none of this would have been possible.